Eidolon
by subaruxkamui4ever
Summary: Seto Joey yaoi. Joey is having nightmares that may reveal a hidden truth about he and Seto. Unfortunately, he may already be too late. Rated for violent imagery, angst, yaoi, and an unhealthy amount of depression, courtesy of the author.
1. Everything and All I Have

Eidolon

A Seto/Joey fanfic by Katsuya Kaiba (subaruxkamui4ever)

AN: Yes, I'm going to start using my real pen name here on , as well. It was hard having to remember to type subaruxkamui4ever on everything before I posted it, so why? So, now you know, and that's that. Yes, it's another really long, really sad, really epic Seto and Joey romance, this time with a slight twist: Seto and Joey are already together when this story opens. Thank god. That'll save about 20,000 words, eh?

Well, I hope you all like it, and I'll say this much- if you liked Clear Vision or The Urgency of Life, then you are SO in luck. Here begins the sadness…

I awoke in a pool of blood.

I sat up suddenly from the ground I lay on and looked up, hoping to find some sort of reason before me. All that I could see was that the place I now found myself in was not the same place that I had fallen asleep in. Expecting to wake in the bed that Seto and I shared, instead I had somehow come to be in this empty and seemingly endless field steeped in snow, far off from any sort of city or civilization entirely. Nothing but flat land stretched out for miles, as far as I could see in the early morning hour that I assumed was the harbinger of the unnatural darkness that swept the landscape. The purest white blanketed the untouched wilderness, and there were no hills or trees within sight, only an even and level ground that I knew would take far more than days to cross.

I found, after a few minutes of shocked silence, that I was not cold at all, and the thought frightened me just a bit, but I shook the fear away, indeed I was grateful for it because I was still in the casual attire that I had fallen asleep wearing, a simple shirt and sweatpants. Finding at least this fact in my favor, I stood up from the snow slowly, and upon placing my hand to the ground to steady me as I stood, I remembered my initial thought upon waking in this very unfamiliar world. My hand was submerged in the blood that I had slept in.

Gasping suddenly, I threw my body upwards so quickly that I nearly toppled over in my haste to put some distance between the terrible image and I. I realized that where I had lain in my sleep there was not one single flake of snow, instead I had been lying in a slightly sunken in spot in the dirt, and where there should realistically have been snow, there was nothing but a good few inches of blood. Looking down at myself I saw that it had soaked through everything that I wore, and my hands and skin as well were stained with a terrible shade that betrayed my resting place. I felt ill at the sight.

I knew that I was in no way injured, at least to the extent that would elicit such an awful amount of bleeding, and with a growing horror in the pit of my stomach I realized that this blood was not mine. Whose was it? Glancing around at the desolate scene, I saw no one at all, no life existed here, and I looked up to the sky in defeat. What was happening to me?

As if in a perfectly timed response, tiny flakes of snow began to scatter in the air, falling from the overcast skies above and melting on my face and in my hair. The tiny droplets that formed from the dissolving snow trickled slowly down my cheeks, and I must have looked upset, as if I were crying, because at that moment, I heard a low whispering that came from a place not more than an inch away from my left ear.

"Don't cry, Joey…"

I whipped my entire body around immediately and gaped at the place where I was positive the voice had originated, there was no one at all, just as before. All that I could see was the same pool of blood that had always been there. Feeling more than terrified, I placed my hand on my chest and breathed in deep, trying to calm my now frantic heartbeat. That voice had been real, I was sure of it. And not only that, but it had been so very close to me…I could have sworn I just felt his breath on my ear, that familiar frozen touch of air that almost hurt the delicate skin that suffered beneath. That had been, without a doubt, the voice of Seto Kaiba. I knew his voice better than I knew myself, he and I had been living together for over two years. And that voice I heard moments ago was unmistakably the very same voice that I heard so often, and was so very fond of. But why was Seto here? Was he here at all?

As the thoughts made their paths throughout my mind, I found myself unable to pull my eyes from the crimson pool that made such beautiful stains on the surrounding snow. Wait a second…was that a footprint? Noticing it for the first time, I looked down and studied the snow beneath my bare feet, and was surprised to find that there was nothing but the purest white powder, even though I had just stepped out of the puddle minutes ago. Frowning in confusion, I looked back to where I had seen the footprint and I gasped aloud. Not only was the footprint still there and even more pronounced than earlier, but there were so many more than before. Where I had seen only one before was now completely littered with bloody prints, all lined up in an obvious trail that led away from my waking place. As my eyes slowly followed the violent path that had truly come from nowhere at all, I saw that the trail wound away and left my line of vision, fading into the darkness that swept the land. I had to follow it. There was nothing else here for me.

The snow on the ground, while still strangely not at all cold to the touch, retained the same texture as I remembered and I could heard it crunching underneath my bare feet as I reluctantly set off in the direction that the owner of the footprints had taken. I knew that, while the situation before me was becoming more and more confusing, I had to find my way out of…wherever I was. But before all else, I had to know how it was that I was able to hear Seto's voice so clearly, and so close to me at that. The more I thought about it, the more upset and anxious that I got, picturing Seto lost in this awful place with no way back home. With that extra burden on my mind, my feet lifted slightly higher with each step and I pushed at the snow underfoot, anxious to finally be done with this journey that was taking much longer than I had expected. The trail had not come to a close and it didn't look as though it would be any time soon, still stretching out endlessly before my eyes and showing no sign of relenting. Pressing on anyway, I let my eyes fall to the ground, resigning myself to the task and losing interest in watching the horizon, instead watching the progress immediately before me, the rise and fall of my feet in the snow mesmerizing me slowly.

I stopped suddenly when my steps brought me, after many long minutes of trudging through the growing snowdrifts, to the end of the blood stained path at long last. There, just under my gaze, was the body of the boy that I loved so much. Seto Kaiba lay there in the snow and faced the sky above, nearly half covered by the flakes that had begun to fall from the sky so long ago. He was dead. The blood that had led me to this place was everywhere, the snow for few feet in all directions completely devoid of even a spot of it's natural ivory. Seto had terrible gashes in his head and chest, and I realized that all of this blood was his, even the pool that I had awoken in. The tears began to fall before I could even grasp what was happening, and in the moment that I woke from my shock I found that I had already thrown myself upon the snow beside Seto, and I clutched at his shoulders, shaking him as if he would awaken as he always had before. He never moved once. He was dead, as I knew he was the moment I laid eyes on his lifeless form.

Burying my face in his chest, I cried harder than I ever felt was possible, and it seemed that the entire world had fallen from underneath my feet. Without Seto, there was nothing left for me here. I didn't care if I was lost in a world I didn't know. No matter where I was, if I did not have Seto beside me, I would be lost regardless. The intensity of the sorrow that engulfed me so swiftly cast a terrible dark shadow over my soul, and the feeling weighed on my heart so heavily that I simply couldn't hold myself together under the pressure. Lying on his body, I fell asleep once again, and this time I woke up in my own bed. The bed that Seto and I shared.

Opening my eyes, I heaved an incredible sigh of relief at the sight of our familiar room, the feel of the familiar sheets and pillows, and the familiar way that the sunlight seemed to find that one little crevice of space between the drapes, letting in a few familiar sunbeams that fell close to my face. Looking over at them, I saw that the sunlight and I were alone, and Seto was nowhere to be seen. That wasn't at all right, and I immediately thought back to the awful nightmare that I had just escaped. Sitting up in our bed, I could see from the way that the sheets fell that Seto had not been to bed. Perhaps it was residual terror from the dream, or maybe I just knew in my heart that something was wrong, but either way I was stricken with terror. I leapt up from the bed and ran down the staircase, all the way to the entrance to our home.

I knew that if Seto had come home, then I would find his keys on the small table that sat just beside the front door, he always tossed them there on his way in from working late as he so loved to do. I hated that about him, he rarely came home before midnight if not later, especially on those nights when he was working on a new project or a project that he was due to finish soon. However, every single morning since the very first night I came to live with Seto, he would without fail be there in our bed when I awoke the next morning. Waking from such a dream, and then finding Seto missing upon my return, had thrown my mind into turmoil, and I rushed as quickly as I could to the front door. I slowed my pace as I approached, and I could see from far away that there were no keys there, the table held nothing at all.

Seto had not been home last night.

AN: Well, yeah. It's scary, I'm told, but let me know if it's actually not. I just think it's super-cool, but hey, I'm not quite right in the head. But still, gimme a holla, as my sister would say, and yes, I'm going to write that last chapter of Clear Vision. Yes, it's the last chapter. I know. That's what I said. And all you puppyshippers, why haven't you joined my group?!? (see author page) Fic challenges are fun, you should come! (fun.)


	2. Nothing and No One

1Eidolon

A Seto/Joey fanfic by Katsuya Kaiba

AN: This story is doomed to sadness. Can you see it, in the distance? I can. But still, it will be fun while it lasts. I think that phrase pretty much sums up my entire writing career. But I don't think the rating for this story will ever go above PG-13, except to allow for bloody things and such. I highly doubt that any lemons will be in our midst, although you never know. I may get brave someday, although the limey flavor of that one chapter in The Urgency of Life is about as far as I have ever gotten. I fear the lemon, for I may never do it justice. But if it seems relevant, then I may have no choice. Enough banter. More story.

Seto had not been home last night, and the fear that consumed my mind at that conclusion was swift and overpowering. I simply stood in silence, not quite knowing what to do next, until without any warning a voice arose from behind me, and I became motionless in disbelief.

"Joey!"

I screamed and turned to face him. Seto Kaiba was alive and well, and stood before me. I was so relieved at the sight of him that I felt my body threaten go limp under my own weight. I leapt into his arms and leaned against his steady form as he supported me in an embrace that spoke endlessly. He didn't say anything right away, seeing my startled panic and then sudden relief at the sight of him. Instead he silently offered what I so desperately needed right then, Seto himself. I needed to feel him above me and all around me as I did right then, solid and real, and living, just as he had been before that terrible nightmare. Could it have really been just an insignificant dream?

"Seto, I was so scared. I...I had an awful dream, and...you weren't there when I woke up ..." As I tried to explain my panic and irrational fear, I realized that I still had no idea how he had managed to escape me until just now. I forgot my shakily spoken explanation and pulled away from his embrace just far enough to see into his gaze, which was fixated upon my troubled countenance.

"Seto? Where have you been all this time? Did you just get home? I know that you haven't been to bed tonight....I was so scared when I woke up, alone..." I gave him a fearful look of worry that I hoped would convey the intense feeling of loneliness that had taken me in Seto's absence, along with the added burden of the graphic and inexplicable visions I had experienced in the dead of night. He drew his arms closer together, pushing me slowly but firmly back into his supporting hold, and I relaxed myself into him once again, instantly forgetting that I had been alone at all. Thinking back, I supposed that it really didn't matter anymore, now that Seto was here with me. Perhaps he had worked all night and had just walked in the door. Whatever it had been, it was over now, and he was here with me. I didn't care about anything else. We stood there for quite awhile, he giving me support as I tried to shake the nagging feeling that worriedly stirred inside my heart, as if I had forgotten something so very important. But Seto could feel my unrest, and he spoke, trying to shake the fear that had latched into my heart.

"Don't worry , Joey. Nothing can keep us apart, not now. I'm sorry I wasn't there to chase away your nightmares, but I'm here now...and it was only a silly dream, nothing more. I know you and I will be together forever, and no dream of yours will be able to take you away from me". Feeling his honest and guileless words as they sunk deeply into my mind, and then even deeper, until they had calmed me completely. I tightened my hold around his waist for a moment and hugged him as forcefully as I could before releasing him, and together we slowly made our way towards the kitchen, with me in the lead. Seto always knew just what to say to me.

Even after living each day with him for over two years now, Seto still manages to amaze me every time he freely expresses such affectionate words to me, even though he only does it when we are together and in private. Before he and I became a couple, I would never in a thousand lifetimes have believed that Seto was capable of speaking to anyone the way he had moments ago, and even now after we have been a pair for quite some time, the Seto of old feels like a distant and long forgotten memory, or a friend that has passed on and is not missed at all. I hated the former Seto and was so glad to be rid of him, even though I now knew that his actions had been driven by the real Seto's misunderstood and repeatedly ignored feelings towards me. The Seto Kaiba underneath it all was the one that I loved so much, and secretly I knew that I wished to spend the rest of my remaining days with him and no other. I never wanted our shared sensation of limitless expression to come to an end, not ever, not even in the face of death. I wanted us to be this way forever, and never before had I felt any doubt in the two of us or our future until that very morning.

There was an unidentified and very unwelcome feeling that faintly cried out from within my heart, an unmitigated sadness and a sense of hopelessness that hadn't been there yesterday. I knew without question that I had never felt this way before, and yet I sensed them inside my heart as if they had always been there, without even knowing the reasons why I felt such things. The only reason I had was that damn dream. The unsolicited emptiness that had been left inside me, that residual silent and solemn taste in the air....I felt as if it was just something that I needed to forget before I could allow my mind to fully remember. From what I could still recall of the vision, the known pattern of events that had eventually led to Seto's final death scene, _and_ all of the accompanying emotions that I now carried inside me felt frighteningly familiar in a way, a new breed of familiarity that hid in the dark corners of my mind and waited patiently, revealing itself solely through indecipherable nightmares.

It was almost as though I had already experienced that dream previously. But I knew for certain that it could not be so.

Abandoning my worries and ignoring the last traces of sadness , I turned my full attention to Seto as we came to the kitchen. He met my eyes when I finally faced him, searching my gaze for the reason behind my silence. I tugged at Seto's sleeve and gave him a genuine smile that instantly reassured his uneasy and questioning stare, and his stiffened posture lost some of it's tension. My grin broadened as I remembered that Seto had worked until the morning, and as the question formed in my head, my discerning smile alerted Seto to my formulating plan. He answered me before I had a chance to ask.

"No, I am not going to work today, so yes, you can waste all our time as you see fit. But Joey... I feel a bit strange this morning, but it's no doubt due to lack of sleep. Do you mind if I take a nap?"

"Not at all," I replied, and followed in his footsteps as he and I both climbed the staircase silently, and upon entering together I immediately headed for our bed, while Seto continued toward the closet on the far end of the room to change. I decided that perhaps a nap might be beneficial for the both of us, as the restless sleep I had gotten last night had left me far more weary than I had been when my head first hit the pillow. Seto climbed in beside me moments afterward and slid sleepily under the covers, lying on his side in order to face me, and I followed his lead and rolled over to lie where I could see him as well. We both fell immediately.

I had a dream that morning, but it was not the same as before. This dream was even less comprehensible, and it left me with a noiseless and foreboding shadow of a doubt. A doubt that I found in my heart, and was directed at the possibility of a tomorrow.

AN: U Like? I do.


	3. Solemn and Silent We Remain

Eidolon

A Seto/Joey fanfic by Katsuya Kaiba

AN: First order of business- A very sincere thank you to everyone who said that they would pray for me and my very sad situation (mentioned in Clear Vision, last chapter). It really, really helped and I am 100 better, so your prayers were answered. Thank you SO MUCH. I feel so much better than I have for a very long time, and now that it's all over I'm so glad things happened this way. We should join forces and rule the world. No, really.

Second order of business- HAHA! I'm BACK! New and Improved Katsuya Kaiba Version 2.0 is here! And I've traded in my spam blocker for my new, much cooler and much more useful ability: Lame-Ass Girlfriend blocker! The Lies end here and now! I should be a superhero. Yeah. Rockin'.

It's Storytime. (cries...oh the pain of laughter...so funny...)

* * *

The words were on the tip of my tongue, yet I could not speak. It was a terrible feeling, to be so full of the Truth and completely unable to show it. Even I could not understand what it was that I knew, but it was something so very important. Something that I had to know. Something that I did know, deep inside, in a place that I had never been. A place that I had never been... 

I felt...very strange. I had no weight, no form, no substance, and I could not see a thing. My eyes were closed. Or were they? I tried to open them and found that they did not exist. I was drifting, in a place I had never been before. I held all of my thoughts still for a few moments and remained open but cautious, reaching out for familiarity.

"I must be dreaming," I thought aloud, and the sound of my thought came back at me from nowhere, echoing all around. The fear inside of me rose quickly but I caught hold of it before it was able to manifest and did my absolute best to stay calm. I got the distinct feeling that I was not dreaming at all. I was asleep, but aware. Aware of myself and my thoughts, but there was no concept of a physical form in this place, so I merely was. I existed, and that was that.

Without form or touch, there was nothing but darkness. Not a blackness, or the absence of light, just a place to be that was not a place at all. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I knew that that must be where I was. The recesses of my mind. But why? It wasn't that I didn't believe this was happeneing, but I had no clues as to what I was doing here. How did this happen? The formless sense of drifting was starting to feel permanent, and I felt panic creeping up behind me from far away. I began to forget what it had been like before this, the sense of being physical and tangible. Regardless of whether or not the concept was just an illusion, still, it felt real there. This place... It was so silent and drowsy, and the longer I spent in this plane of reality, the more I realized that I had no idea how to get back out. And the need to leave was growing far less intense by the second. All of the cares and worries from the other world were fading fast and as I relaxed even further, I felt myself sink deeper into the calm, somehow. It was nearly addictive, and I vaguely sensed a sharp cry within, desperately pleading with me to stop. I tiredly acknowledged the sensation, but with each passing second my awareness was slipping away.

"Don't say it..."

I momentarily became alert at the sound of a voice. No, not a voice, not here, I thought slowly. Everything in this place moved so slowly, and I had begun to fall under the spell. Not a voice...a thought. A thought from another. Another was here, or at least nearby. Someone close enough to me to be able to penetrate this deeply inside...I had someone once, just like that...didn't I?

Seto.

I remembered now. I didn't belong here at all, I belonged with him. Where was he...where was I? This frustrating circle of logic was trapping me and I tried to speak, but nothing came. But how had I done it before? I remembered hearing myself just moments ago, why couldn't I do it now? There was something I had to say. I had no idea what it could be, but it was so important! I knew it, I felt it, it needed to be said. It was something that I had to know. What was it? I remained as nothing for a moment and collected my sense of self, hoping that it would just come out. But nothing came. Not a thought or a word, or even an idea. Only a feeling of intense desperation and fear. There was something that I was hiding away here, I realized suddenly. That was why I was here. A deep stillness came across me, and I felt the words within and without in the moment they were spoken.

"Don't say it. If you keep silent, we will never end."

I lost all control at the sound. I wanted to hear it from myself so badly, there was an awful burning inside of me that demanded to know, and now that I was so close to it inside of me I could feel it tearing and clawing at my mind. But Seto, he told me not to... He didn't want me to know. I loved him so much, I wanted to do whatever he asked of me, but...

I was unable to do anything at all, and the sound of my my own screams tore me into consciousness.

"Joey, stop!" Seto's strained cry broke through my fevered panic and I froze instantly. Seto was here, Seto was here... Once again, I was so happy to see him here, just to know that he was here with me. That I was not alone.

Seto was above me, and as I moved towards him I found that I couldn't move at all, he had pinned me to the bed underneath. I looked up to his face confusedly, and he in turn loosened his grip on my arms and quietly rose up and sat in front of me, warily watching to see what I might do next.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I wondered what it was that I had done in my sleep to make him act so strangely.

Seto's expression lost it's intensity and fell into a blank stare, but still he maintained our matched gaze.

"Nothing. I...thought you were having a nightmare. You were scaring me. I thought you were going to hurt yourself." The tone he spoke with left no room for question.

Although I was awake and safe, I couldn't help but think back to that thought, that elusive Truth that had slipped away from me once again. What was it again? I swore that it had been right on the tip of my tongue the entire time, but without words. It was still just a sinking feeling.

"Hey...Seto? I had another dream. It was-"

"Are you hungry?" Seto stared at me harshly, and I suddenly felt rather uncomfortable. Why the hell did he cut me off like that? It was as if he didn't even care. I turned and pouted momentarily, angry at his sharp interruption, until his question completely registered in my mind. Food?

"Yes! I'm starving! I was hungry before, but you were so tired so I decided to wait. But now I'm really hungry!"

Seto smiled and stood up off the bed, extending an arm so I could be pulled up as well. I reached out and grasped his hand, and as I shifted my body across the bed to stand beside him he suddenly pulled on my arm with an unstoppable force. I flew forward towards him and in the blurring rush I caught a glance of his face, seared from right to left with a spectacular grin that spilled over with superiority and mischevious planning. Before I could even blink I was suspended in the air, and without wasting another second Seto Kaiba promptly carried me downstairs, towards the kitchen.

"Come on, brat. I knew you'd be hungry. Maybe this time you'll leave some for me."

I laughed and relaxed at once. I could still feel the desperately clawing sensation within no matter how hard I tried to cast it aside, so I simply let it alone. Whatever the Truth was, it could wait, at least for a moment.

* * *

AN: Hmmm. Seto's awfully shady, huh? What is he up to? Hmmm... Yeah, as if I don't know. And honestly, you all probably know, too. I've been dropping hints faster than a trick-or-treater with a torn candybag. Hey, I know! Everyone, tell me what you think is gonna happen! I know I already did this in The Urgency of Life, but it was fun! Plus you all had such great ideas that I wanted to write more fics, just so I could make the guesses happen. This is inspiration, people! Oh, and if you have any other ideas or anything, tell me that too. I mean, I already know how this story is going to end, but up until that point, I got nothin. Well, not nothing, but you know. I'm just talking to hear myself talk. Yep. 


	4. Until The Final Hour

Eidolon

A Seto/Joey fanfic by Katsuya Kaiba

AN: Whoa I am so sorry about the wait. I had no idea that I had enraged you all with my absence...please do not eat me. I will write lots of words for you to read. I'm useful. Don't eat me. I was really sad for awhile, you probably wouldn't have wanted to read anything I wrote in that state of mind. Yes, I will admit. I sunk that low. The great Katsuya Kaiba wrote nothing but...poetry. Yes, you read right. Poetry. For over a month. Yeah, it wasn't the best of times, it was the worst of times. For sure. But I'm better now, and I have another idea for another, yes, ANOTHER Seto and Joey fic. I will, however, finish this story first. No fooleys.

* * *

We sat at the table in silence. The afternoon sun had already begun it's descent towards the western sky, and the small scattered beams of light that filtered in through the windowpanes cast a bright glow across the kitchen. I picked and nibbled at my udon, knowing full well that the watchful gaze of Seto Kaiba was upon me. 

"Why aren't you eating?" I looked up from my bowl and met his eyes. To anyone else they would have seemed to be filled with anger, but I could see the masked concern hidden underneath.

"I don't know..." I lowered my head back down to glare at the food that simply refused to eat itself. Why wasn't I hungry? I _was _hungry, but... somehow the food just wouldn't make it's way to my mouth. I kept forgetting about it, my mind was so full with thoughts of the dream. The non-dream, I should say. Something was seriously wrong, I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"I guess I'm just not feeling well. This dream I had, it wasn't a dream. Not really. It was weird, like...like there's something inside of me that just won't go away. A sinking feeling of...loss? Regret, maybe? I can't quite place it, but you..." I looked up furtively to try and catch a glimpse of his reaction out of the corner of my eye, but the moment I caught sight of his expression I immediately tore my eyes away from his face, hoping he hadn't seen. He hadn't. I stopped speaking immediately.

What I had seen on Seto's face was pure and unadulterated fear. Fear at what, I had no idea. But seeing that expression brought back the painful way that his voice had sounded in my dream.

"Don't say it"

I looked up at Seto sharply, wondering how he had known what I was thinking about. Did he know more that I did? I certainly didn't know anything, not anymore. Maybe I was losing it.

"What did you say?" My voice came out a little more forceful than I had intended, and I immediately regretted speaking so thoughtlessly. Seto looked at me with a blank expression before responding to my demand.

"What are you talking about? I didn't say anything." His face took on a indignant look before he went back to what he had been doing before my outburst, which wasn't a whole hell of a lot. Mostly staring out the window in silence, with occasional glances in my direction.

"Um...sorry. Hey..." I spoke apologetically, and then I smiled and tried to put on a more cheerful demeanor, hoping to break the awful icy turn that this afternoon was taking. "...What time are you leaving tomorrow? Can we stay up late tonight? I want to play Duel Monsters with you! Please...?"

Seto turned to look at me incredulously, most likely wondering what I could possibly be thinking. Truthfully, I was just trying to do something that felt familiar in some way. I desperately wanted to go back to the way things were before. Before I had that first horrible nightmare, the one where I had found Seto dead and gone in the snow...I shuddered at the memory and shook it off quickly. Ever since I'd had that dream, things between Seto and I had taken a turn for the worst. It seemed as though he and I had suddenly become strangers, and I hated the sinking feeling of dread that was slowly sneaking up behind me, closing in on my happiness with each passing minute. What if that dream had been meaningful in some way? It was so real and vivid, maybe it was trying to tell me that something bad was going to happen. Wasn't that how dreams about the future go? All the things that happen in prophetic visions, they're all just metaphors for what's really going to happen, right? So then, what did Seto's death point to? Was he going away, maybe?

There wasn't any way for me tell, in all honesty. I had no idea what I was talking about in the first place. I had heard somewhere that when you dream about the future, you never see what's truly going to happen. You see it in the language of the subconscious. But that fact alone was enough to make my head spin, let alone actually trying to decipher something as complicated as the dream itself. I decided to stick with my original plan of Cheering Up Seto. Maybe he was just being a jackass today, and I was overreacting. Hey, it's happened before.

"Joey, you don't want to duel me...remember what happened last time...", He added with a growing smirk.

I blushed furiously. I did indeed remember that particular duel, the one in which I had sworn off dueling with Seto altogether. The stakes had become far too high over the years we had been together. At first it was just a silly betting game, whoever lost the duel would have to do this or that ridiculous dare which more often than not involved the theft and/or sacriligious misuse of someone's precious millenium item. Seto seemed to find that particularly amusing, no doubt due to the constant ranting he was forced to endure during Battle City, in which he was painfully and relentlessly educated again and again about the dire importance of these items. But as the private duels between Seto and I became more common as our relationship progressed, I found that there really wasn't any way around the fact I had known all along, somewhere deep inside of me: I would never defeat Seto Kaiba at Duel Monsters. And after the incident involving the schoolgirl uniform and the umbrella, I decided that I honestly didn't care anymore if I defeated him or not. It simply wasn't worth the humiliation.

However, at this point, I couldn't see any way around it. Seto was acting so strangely, and I was beginning to fear the reason why.

"Yes! Yes I do! And this time, I'm totally gonna kick your ass! What do you wanna bet?" I grinned openly at him, hoping he would return it. He didn't.

"No, I don't feel like it."

Seto didn't feel like dueling? What fresh new hell was this?

"Yeah...I guess you probably wouldn't wanna duel me right now. You're probably too tired or something...and not only that, but you haven't dueled since that last time...you know...You're just rusty, I understand." I tried as hard as I could to keep my intention discreet, but the look he gave me screamed that I had failed miserably.

"Shut up, Joey. It isn't going to work."

Damn.

Seto sighed and stood suddenly, pushing his chair backwards and stepping out from behind the table. Without a word, he walked out of the kitchen, leaving me sitting alone with my untouched food in silence. As I realized he was leaving the kitchen, I scrambled out of my chair hurriedly and followed him into the hall.

"Wait, Seto!" I called out to his back, running to catch up to him as he strode quickly through the house. He showed no signs of stopping. What was his problem?

He reached the end of the hallway and opened the coat closet door, grabbing his jacket and slipping it on silently.

"Hey, what...? Where are you going?" I couldn't believe what was happening. Were we going somewhere? I hated it when he got this way, but I went to grab my coat as well. Before I could get my arm into the closet, he flung the door shut suddenly, nearly slamming it on my outstretched hand.

"Hey, jackass, what's your problem?" I put my hands on my hips in a huff, furious at his lack of consideration.

Without a sound he walked away from me and opened the front door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" I was nearly screaming at this point. How could he suddenly be so cold and uncaring towards me? I shivered as I pushed back a memory of the old Seto, cold and indifferent, and not at all in love with me. I hoped he wasn't reverting to that person again. Not after all this time...

"OUT!" Seto yelled back, and slammed the front door behind him.

I stood in awe of the resounding silence. A single frustrated tear slipped down my face before I roughly wiped it away with my sleeve. What a jerk... What did I do? Why was he being so terrible to me all of a sudden? I didn't deserve this...did I?

I decided to follow him. I had to get answers. I was sick and tired of being a stranger in my own life.

* * *

AN: Oh my god, I think this story's actually going somewhere! As I was writing this, I finally figured out how everything is gonna "go down" as the saying goes. The next chapter is going to have a lot of answers, and the climax will no doubt follow in suit...I am so exited! The reason I began writing this story was to write the next few chapters. Just hang in there, all of this plot development with be worth it! Let me know what you think! I promise the next chapter will be up soon. See how fast I updated this chapter? HIKARIENZERU yelled at me, but now my ass is in gear! Thanks, HIKARI, your words inspired me to not make you angry ever again! Thanks to you and everyone else for your support! 


	5. When I Find That You And I Are Alone

Eidolon

A Seto/Joey fanfic by Katsuya Kaiba

AN: I find that music enhances the ultimate fanfiction experience. An incredibly sad chapter read whilst listening to incredibly sad music promotes further sadness, and so on. I should make a soundtrack for my fiction, wouldn't that be the coolest? I find that reading The Urgency of Life in silence induces a feeling of desperation and slight suicidal tendencies. However, I underwent an experimental process in which I read the last two chapters over and over again while listening to Gackt's "Last Song" on repeat. Let the misery flow... I reccommend this sort of reckless behaviour only if you are secure in your sense of self worth, and you have an incredibly exiting reason to live until tomorrow. Go on. Try it. Pull up your favorite Seto and Joey deathfic and read it while blasting that song in the background.

I do not condone suicide, by the way (unless your name is Seto). Just unhealthy levels of angst. Smile at the shiny shiny sun, for here begins more misery.

* * *

Grabbing my coat from the closet and slipping it on in a rush, I quietly opened the front door that Seto had slammed shut behind him less than a minute ago. At first I only opened it wide enough so I could see which way he had gone, but after scanning the driveway for a few moments I realized he had already gone. He hadn't taken a car. Where in the world could he be going on foot? Seto hated to walk, no matter how close the destination. 

Frowning at this realization, I pulled my head back inside the house and shut the door. Should I follow him? Sneakily trailing someone down a public street was a pretty high profile activity, and even if he somehow failed to notice me, I knew that someone else might not. But still... He was acting so hatefully towards me, not to mention aggressively secretive. I made up my mind in that instant. I refused to let this feeling inside of me grow any deeper or spread any further. I opened the door and walked outside, locking the house up behind me.

I ran down to the sidewalk and just before I stepped off the driveway, I remembered suddenly that I needed to stay low until I could find out which way Seto had gone. I ducked down behind a bush and glanced first to the right, saw no one in that direction and quickly scanned over to the left. Perfect. There he was, sticking out like the sore thumb he was.

For the first time, I thanked the gods above that Seto was such an easy target. Who the hell wouldn't notice him from a mile away? Even if you couldn't see _him_ personally, you would surely be able to identify that ridiculous trenchcoat from any vantage point. This might be easier than I had expected. Seto was quite far away from me at this point, his demanding stride had taken him pretty far in the short time that had elapsed since his departure. I stood up from the hedge and set off in his direction, hoping that he wouldn't turn to look anytime soon. There weren't anymore bushes to take cover under for a good fifty feet, maybe more. I sped up my pace, anxious to be out of plain sight, but at the same time not wanting to close too much of the space berween us. I decided just to make a quick sprint for the next house with a bush, and upon reaching it, I ducked behind it and peeked out, looking for Seto. He apparently hadn't noticed me, or anything else for that matter. He seemed to be in a sort of daze, paying even less attention to the surrounding world than ever before. The distance between us was small, since I had run as fast as I could to the spot where I now hid, and from this close I could see that his head was downcast, merely watching the rise and fall of his own footsteps and nothing else.

What could have happened to Seto that could rob him of his own stubborn pride? He seemed so...hopeless, as though he had lost something so precious. I wondered if Kaiba Corp. was in danger. Seto's company was the only thing I could think of that might be able to affect him this deeply. Still, whatever it was, it still wasn't any excuse for the way he had been acting towards me. If something bad had happened, why couldn't he just tell me? I knew that Seto wasn't really the 'sharing type', but he had always told me things like this before, the important things that affected him. What if the problem was me? What if he...was no longer in love with me?

I never even gave the thought a chance to develop. Seto still loved me, I knew he did. He would have told me if he didn't...wouldn't he? Oh God. Maybe he couldn't think of a way to tell me. Maybe he...

Once again, I pushed the notion away and focused on the moment before me. Whatever it was, I would know sooner or later, and making assumptions would only lead me into panic. Seto had gotten quite far ahead of me by then, and I watched him carefully for any signs of awareness. He strode on thoughtlessly, following a path that he must have known well, for him to be able to walk so carelessly towards whatever destination he had in mind. Feeling strangely confident, I stood up once again and followed behind him. He was so far away by then that I could hardly make him out in the distance, and I picked up my pace to try and keep him within sight.

I followed him for what seemed to me to be hours at best, although it must have been about forty five minutes before he finally slowed to a stop. He stood silently and gazed up at the black rod iron of the Domino Cemetary gates. After standing still for a moment and staring upwards, he forced himself to step inside and continued on the cement path that wound within and without the graves.

I blankly stared at the unexpected sight. What was Seto doing here? From my hiding place just around the corner of a nearby building, I watched him make his way through the headstones, blankly staring at a place just in front of him and never once turning his head. Whoever he had come here to see, he certainly knew exactly where to find them.

Had someone important to him died? I shook my head absentmindedly, dismissing the thought. Seto didn't really care a whole lot about anyone, and certainly not enough to actually make such a tremendous effort as to visit them in death. He didn't really have very much use for the living, let alone the dead. But still, there was no other reason for Seto to be here. If someone important had died, I would definitely have known. Or at least, I thought that I would have known. Maybe he was supposed to meet someone here. How discreetly morbid.

I stood there for so long, trying to make sense out of what I saw, that I nearly lost Seto again. I ran out from my hiding spot and dashed through the gates. Inside the cemetary there were endless amounts of greenery and clustered trees, so hiding wouldn't pose too much of a problem. I just needed to know where I should hide in order get a clear line of vision to whoever Seto was here to see. I wove throughout the scattered trees, realizing that the cemetary was far less crowded than the streets of Domino had been and my being noticed here was far more likely. It seemed as though we were the only two people here. Well, the only two living people. I chuckled nervously at my inside joke and tried to laugh off the awful feeling that had been gathering within me ever since I set foot in the graveyard. I didn't want to be here at all. I hoped that whatever Seto had come here to do, he would hurry up and get it over and done with.

He sharply turned to the right and walked off the cemetary path, following a beaten earthy trail that I could easily see he had taken before, many times. Watching him from behind a particularily large tree, I saw him stop suddenly, pausing before a particular headstone. I was glad for that, it was no more than ten or twelve feet away from the tree I hid behind, and although the grave itself was faced completely away from me, this made it possible for me to see Seto's face very clearly. He seemed to be very intent on not looking at the grave itself, but rather the dirt just before it. Not once had his eyes scanned over the words on the stone, and my curiosity began to grow dangerously. Now that we were here, I desperately wanted to see just who it was that we had come all this way to visit.

I was taking care to remain undetected, and I only leaned forward just enough so that one of my eyes could see beyond the tree, and I was sure that Seto would never notice me unless he was truly looking. I wasn't really so worried about it because he seemed to be very occupied with whatever it was that held him so still before the grave. Suddenly he moved, and I was startled but I held myself still, dying with curiosity to see what it was that he had come here to do. He kneeled before the grave, and as I watched his face I saw him lift his gaze upward and and his eyes settled across the words on the stone, the name of whoever it was he had come to see.

I couldn't do anything but stare, even as Seto fell to the ground and the look of longing and loss swept his features. All I could do was watch it happen. I felt so awful about it, even though I knew that he would no doubt feel even worse if he found that he was being watched, still, it was becoming so very hard to keep still and silent. I wanted so badly to help him, to know what it was that tortured him so much. I saw the first of many tears slowly make their way across his face, and within moments I felt my own tears falling fast in response. Just the sight of his pain nearly had me drowning in my own, I so desperately needed to make all of this somehow better. I bit back the urge to run out from where I hid, and continued to watch quietly.

Seto was kneeling still, his eyes clenched shut as if he had to keep from seeing what was truly before him. He didn't want to see it, whatever it was. The tears continued to fall down his face, escaping from the corners of his tightly shut eyes until he suddenly opened them once more, and stared defiantly into the space between us, occupied by the grave.

"I can't tell you what's happened. I'm sorry..." Seto's voice was faint and barely made it's way to my ears, even though he and I were so close. Rarely did I ever hear him speak that way, and the very sound of it hurt me in a strange place deep inside. Seto was so proud and strong, and to sit back helplessly and listen to the sound of that shattered pride was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I never wanted Seto to be anything but happy, forever...

"I won't let you do this. I can't..." He stood up abruptly and stared down at the dirt below, taking control of himself as I suspected he might do, as I had hoped he would. I didn't know how much longer I would have been able to watch him suffer like that.

"I refuse to allow you to throw this all away. It's been far too long. Whatever I have to do, I'll do it. Just don't go. Don't leave me here...because I will not go on if you do. Not without you."

Without wasting another second, Seto quickly walked away, back to the path and out of the cemetary. I watched him as he went, wondering if I should wait awhile before following him. If he made it home before I did, I knew he would probably raise hell trying to find me. But I was afraid to try and beat him home without being noticed. And I would have to make absolutely sure that I was not seen. Now that I knew where he had gone, it was even more important for me to make sure that he never knew that I had seen him. I didn't even want to think about what might happen if he found that I had spied on him. I would have to stay out of the house for awhile and come back in a few hours. I could always lie about where I had been, but if I came home mere minutes after he did, I knew it would look way too suspicious. No, I'd have to wait awhile. So in the meantime, I decided to see about this dead person. The desire to know was driving me crazy and now that Seto was finally out of sight, I ran out from behind the tree and stood in front of the grave.

My eyes fell upon the letters carved into the stone, and I stood fast where I was, trying to understand, but reason simply would not come. My mind, in pure shock and disbelief, refused to acknowledge the obvious facts and instead I felt the same wordless and unformed phrase endlessly driving on in my head, the same unanswered question spiralling out of control. Never mind who this was, just never mind, it doesn't matter...

I read and re-read the words, until they blurred and became illegible, then invisible to my eyes. That was my name, wasn't it? Joey Wheeler. That is my name. It is. But I'm not in there. I can't be. Because I'm still here, still alive...

I fell to my own knees, and painfully cried out for something I thought I had never lost.

* * *

AN: Ooooh, boy. You know, I'm a really happy person. I think it's just that my life is so devoid of any angst, I feel the need to torture these poor boys. Especially Joey. I never let him have a good day. Or year, life, whatever. I command thee to be sad! He's such a good kid, though. Oh, a note to anyahs ayalec- dude. i'm so un-good at lemons. I'm really all about the angst. Believe me, I would be so freakin happy to write a lemon that I felt confident about. That would be all I would write. I would quit my job, just so I could stay home and write lemons all day, and then read them. But alas, this is not the case. I'm surprised that I've been writing so much. I just got Digital Demon Saga and I haven't even really slept since I got it, let alone try to live a functional life outside the Junkyard. As always, if you liked it the story-thing, tell me. Cause if you don't then I won't know. How sad I would be. 


End file.
